


I'm Not Going Back (Jaeyong version)

by JenoTaurusKing



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, NCT U, nct - Freeform, nct 127
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 13:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20340541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenoTaurusKing/pseuds/JenoTaurusKing
Summary: Jaehyun wants Taeyong back but the feeling isn't mutual.





	I'm Not Going Back (Jaeyong version)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Twitter @chewingonchenle ^.^

Darkness enveloped Taeyong's form as he hid under the duvet on his bed struggling to sleep, the clock next to him read 01:27AM as it let out a soft green glow on the table where his phone lay, vibrating angrily with Jaehyun’s name across the screen as he called for the third time that night. With a loud huff and one last sniffle as he blew his nose once more, Taeyong pressed accept on the call and shuffled to sit up against the headboard the two men would sit against for hours and talk, the conversation this time however leaving a negative feeling running through his frame instead of happiness.

“What Jaehyun? I asked you to not call me anymore, we’re over.”

His exhale filled Taeyong's ear how it used to when he was about to offload his feelings, preparing him for the attack he was about to let out against the wall that he had built around himself and his feelings. “Tae, baby, I’m sorry, I know it means nothing but I can’t let you go.” He could imagine his fingers running through his fluffy hair while he spoke, his voice shaky with multiple emotions. “I didn’t know how you felt, I wish I did…”

Pushing the covers from himself, he flicked the switch of the yellow lamp on, he could see the memories of their time together play out around the small room. The first time he slept over and had placed a T-shirt in the top draw of the dresser as he claimed he was here to stay for life, their first argument together when he hadn’t told him he was staying late for practice again, the first time he pressed him up against the door, the both of them giggling and trying to shush each other as a few of the boys had also stayed over after their first world tour, the break up when Jaehyun had told him that he felt the relationship was shaky as he began to ignore his feelings after tour, claiming it to be tiredness despite the tour having ended a month earlier, both boys crying as Taeyong realised what it truly meant.

“I-I can’t,” Taeyong paused as Jaehyun let out a small sob on the other end of the phone. “I can’t put myself through everything again Jae, you’re meant for the flashy lifestyle 24/7 and I’m not, I can’t handle you not listening, me being here when you choose to acknowledge me. I’m not here to be looked for whenever you want to, you’re meant for the flashy lifestyle, I’m meant for home and a boring 9 to 5 lifestyle. I’ve never been able to handle not being able to go out with you as I please, I’ve tried.”

“Please Tae, we can talk about being public, it will make things how you want them. I can be home more, you can post about me, we can move in together and you can have your 9 to 5 lifest-”

“No Jaehyun, listen. You can’t be both an idol and 9 to 5 boyfriend, I love you that’s why I’m doing this. I’m proud of you, I always will be and if we can be friends still then that’s great but I can’t and won’t be your boyfriend again, I’m not going back to you and I’m not going back to how things were. I’m not going to be miserable as I wait for you to have time for me again, I don’t have time to waste waiting for you anymore.”

“C-can you open the door?”

Taeyong's eyes widened slightly as he padded out of the bedroom and in to the hall, opening the locked door to see a dishevelled Jaehyun, Taeyong's arm that was holding the light phone dropping like it was a brick as he took in his appearance. Face and eyes swollen as both fresh and old tear tracks ran down his puffed face, his freshly dyed pink hair sticking in all directions from stress and his whole aura screaming sadness.

“J-Jaehyun, no. Don’t do this to me,” Taeyong's previously strong voice trailed off as new tears began to fall again, he could feel the wall break completely, ready to accept him back if he asked once more.

“I’m not going to ask you to take me back again,” He sniffed loudly, arms folding across his chest insecurely as he looked down at the floor. “I’ve realised now that you weren’t happy, I just don’t want to let you go. I can’t let you go.” He peeked up at the other boy's equally as sunken face to see if he could find a trace of happiness in his expression to make the situation easier on his side, “thank you. Thank you for being patient, I’m sorry I-I made you feel so crap.” He moved forward and hesitantly wrapped the smaller in a hug that he returned, both caving in and sobbing loudly at the contact.

“I loved you Jaehyun, I really did, I’m so sorry. I wish I was the one for you.”

“I wish that too but we’re not made for each other, friends?”

They pulled apart and Tae nodded up at him, taking in his tiny details once more before Jaehyun left a final kiss on his forehead and turned to walk away. Taeyong closed the door and climbed back to the cold bed, no longer holding in the painful sobs that physically shook his body, he knew he wouldn’t see him again, he hoped that he got home safely, he chose to ignore his last text of goodbye as he turned his back to the broken screen on the bedside table, darkness folding over him and the light from his clock creating a small glow.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
